Window Shopping for the 1%
A(n Incomplete) List Of Ridiculous Luxuries For Someone Who Literally Has Everything
EN: This is a piece I wrote for the company I work at, Fohr, last Spring. I wanted to bring her here to share my initial draft (sans the business-minded professional edits) and give it a home on my own platform. The formal version can be found here.
As someone who spends much of her free time yearning for unattainably expensive luxury goods, I have reached a decent level of self-awareness (or begrudging acceptance) that maybe a $6,500 Elsa Peretti platter isn’t in budget as a 20-something-year-old paying Manhattan rent. Delusions of grandeur and a powerful ability to manifest are the only things keeping my spirit from breaking, as I’m confident that in 10-15 years I will be able to furnish my home à la 1stDibs and buy something in Bergdorf’s home section on a whim during my weekly hungover-Sunday-afternoon perusal. When you have unwavering confidence in the impact a sterling silver tray could bring to your daily life, there is no such thing as “girl math”—just complete faith in the purchase.
While the obvious Hermès quota bags or Loro Piana coat come to mind, these items are in the vein of what you would find in the back of a department store if you were actively looking for unique opulence. Something with a four-digit price tag that goes in the dishwasher, or something with a five-digit price tag that you don’t even take out of the box. I see no reason to be reasonable here.
Should you somehow be more delusional in financial justification than I am, and have the Amex spend for it, I am pleased to share purchase considerations I’d suggest to someone who has (or wants) everything. Not only do I enjoy drooling over silk-ribbon-wrapped bullshit, but I also excel in the actual experience of buying it, so please feel free to contact me if you’d like enthusiastic moral support (or someone to finish off the sales-associate-supplied champagne) as you swipe your Centurion card.
x
Taylor
Window Shopping for the 1%
Easing into this with something I actually do find to be reasonable (especially as I recently fell victim to a moth infestation—RIP 3 cashmere sweaters), I’ve been turned on to the LG Styler Smart Steam Closet ($1,328) and, as someone with two cats, genuinely feel like I need it. Likely known to me from a wealthy woman on TikTok, the WiFi-enabled closet sanitizes, steams, refreshes, and dries clothes, providing a mini-dry cleaning effect. There’s even a pants press to keep your double-pleated trousers looking freshly ironed. As someone living in a tiny NYC apartment, I value its compactness at a slim 21” width.
Ever since stumbling on a delicate antique store as an impressionable and broke teenager in Paris for the first time, there are few things more fabulous to me than a full dinner service. I never expected to resonate with the geriatric fondness for fine china before my twentieth birthday, but as a Palm Beach-adjacent native, old-lady core was bred into my palette. I look forward to hosting dinner parties with 100% pure porcelain, but for now, my niche Japanese dinnerware will do the trick.
Like most of us who explored personal interests during lockdown, I discovered an unexpected affinity for chairs. As part of my contribution to the greater lesbian effort, I participate in an annual furniture rearrangement that has been known to go a little over the top (notably October 2022, a time when I had a Togo, Camaleonda, Wassily, and 2 Cesca’s in my living room at once), and it always starts with seating. My long-standing hyperfixation is the De Sede Terrazza by Ubald Klug ($34,809.35), whose beauty shot has been living on my Instagram since 2020.
Solidifying its spot on my eternal wishlist from the indelible Kendall Jenner Architectural Digest Open Door video, I have not stopped thinking about having a James Turrell in my home since. However, having been purchased from Pace Gallery at $750,000, it may be one of the items to actually stay on the list. For now, New Yorkers may meditate in front of one of his installations on the fourth floor of Tiffany and Co.’s Landmark flagship, and Londoners at The Row’s townhouse. If you plan on partaking in the former on a Saturday around 4 PM, you may find me there in the throes of admiration.
Conversations over cigarettes often include complimenting the adjacent smoker's shoes or handbag (especially when I’ve just bummed a Marlboro Gold off of them—it’s only polite) and adding fuel to the fire of things I’d like to Pay-in-4 on despite having no heat in my apartment. Most recently, this resulted in a quick and powerful lust for a Judith Leiber bag (infamously misunderstood by Carrie Bradshaw). My love for gaudy items and impracticality unite in this crystal-studded satin-lined minaudière in the shape of your favorite food or pastime. As a proud horse girl and retired WEF attendee, I’d opt for the Rocking Horse ($6,295).
The most important takeaway from this list is that I truly believe the key to enjoying looking at any of these items is to engage in the most absolute of affirmations that you deserve them. I encourage all other similarly delusional readers to try their hand at a confident and shameless walk up Madison Avenue to window shop for inspiration on obscenities and glamor—even if you only have an ID and $20 cash in your wallet. One day, you could put them in a Birkin.